Part I. How to Choose an Employer

  Don't make the mistake of judging your prospective
  employer by his speech. Watch his eyeballs, not his
  mouth.

  First look for eyes that gleam with irony-- eyes that
  contradict the words accompanying them. These
  lizard-like eyes convey secondary meanings. They
  are motion-sensitive, darting about the room as
  you listen. Avoid such types. They will keep you
  on the shortest leash imaginable. They pay well,
  but they'll watch you every second.

  Look, instead, for bovine eyes: bright and slow-
  rolling in their sockets. Of these employers, you
  can be assured that they'll pay poorly, but you
  will also steal from them. If they are rich, it
  is worth the trouble. Otherwise, look elsewhere.

  Canine eyes are eager and distracted. "We like you!"
  they say; and indeed, they like everyone. Such types
  will pay a medium salary, and you will not wish to
  steal from them. Their loyalty is contagious, and
  their trust unlimited.


  Part II
  Index