They are called the cat ladies. Three women in a feces-strewn house in Edmonton with 250 dead and dying cats. It wasnžt the first time they had left a landlord with an expensive mess.

OK- WHOA! Does that not entice you? I was bored silly this afternoon....couldn't focus on work. Went browsing online and found a news account of animal hoarding. One thing lead to another and, creepily enough, I spent the afternoon buried in the subject.

The landlord of the family's second residence agreed to let them stay on one condition, which was that the landlord be allowed to drop by periodically to check the inside of the house. But when the landlord opened the door to the basement, held shut by a metal hook, she was greeted by the stench of urine and about eight cats, eyes glowing in the rafters."

"You lied to me!" she yelled as she rushed up the stairs. "It'll be cats all over again. Just go! Just go!" Wearing two sweaters and covered in cat hair, Victoria Abolins, 79, sat hunched over on a milk crate, the only furniture in the house."

I really did not make that last sentence up. Haha. I can visualize your facial expression right now: right eyebrow raised, mouth agog, brow creased in perturbation. I know! As far as deviant behavior goes, hoarding is up there with arson and aberrant sexuality. These are the only reasons I scan the newspaper.

If you ever feel like ruining a whole day, you can spend some time at the library researching animal hoarders. There's a dearth (whoa, Freudian slip! originally typed 'death') of medical literature on the subject but you should find something. Most animal hoarders appear "normal and healthy" aside from their hoarding. About a quarter of them are found to have animal feces and urine in their own beds. (!)

The awesome part-- in the original sense of the word-- is that it is impossible to stop animal hoarders from their behavior. Behavioral therapy and medication don't work. Adjudication does absolutely nothing; the hoarder just moves to a different apartment and fills it up with more pets. The recidivism rate is through the roof .

Anyways, you were talking about movies, and I have a gut instinct that all this pathology has some serious untapped cinematic potential. Has there been a horror movie about animal hoarding yet? If not, dibs. You can go in on it with me.

In all seriousness though, I think I've discovered the most bankable behavioral abnormality never broached in Psych 101. If you need something else to google, might I suggest Senile Squalor Syndrome?

Anyway, thanks for your note. And good luck with finals.

Toodles,
Cassidy


I Just Wasn't Made For These Times