FIVE GRIPES

I. CHAOS THEORY
One tiny change can make a system go cuckoo. Such changes are
unavoidable, so these systems have to be considered inherently
cuckoo. My mood, for example, follows the principle of extreme
sensitivity to initial conditions. Conditions may include a
disappointing cookie, a text message that goes unanswered, or
the occurance of a zit on picture day.

II. COMPLEXITY THEORY
How do simple elements give rise to complex systems? Eg, how
does brain cells + more brain cells= brain or Cassidy - Ozzy= doom?

III. COMPLEMENTERY DOMINANCE
Each hemisphere of the brain has various specialities that kick
in when called for. I can sweep dust bunnies and pick a chocolate
wrapper up off the floor. Ozzy can read Goethe and do a Southern
accent.

IV. EVOLUTION
We descend from a primordial shrew which diversified and acquired
nice things like binocular vision, handy thumbs, and a big brain.
I mean, some of us did.

V. OSMOSIS
Despite all attempts to reach equilibrium, there is a disparity
between Ozzy and me. In terms of wit, intellect, even breast size.
Despite our semi-permeable membranes, we cannot, as I might wish,
allow things to osmose freely between us.


Index